I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
