This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
How many vodka infused gummi bears count as 1 drink?
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
FYI telling a guy that you're glad his dick isn't big after giving him a bj, is NOT a compliment.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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