He asked to "fluff my boner.."
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
I WOULD NEVER LIE ABOUT SOMETHING AS SERIOUS AS SABADO GIGANTE BEING CANCELED
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
Randomize
