No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Hey do you know who I showed my dick to at the bar last night?
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
