I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
