Moan for me like Helen Keller
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
I'm a terrible person. There are two guys speaking sign language on the metro platform and at first I thought they were drunk and doing a silly dance.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Randomize
