I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
Randomize
