so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
Randomize
