i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you told me heaven would be the 3 of us at Moe's forever and every hot girl that walked in would ask us to play stone face
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
I had a threesome with my hot neighbor and his GF and by threesome I mean I heard them getting it on in their apartment and I was in my apartment with a vibrator
and I may have moaned his name loud enough that they heard me because now he won’t make eye contact
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