i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
