She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
