It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
Randomize
