Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Randomize
