it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
Sam was like the mother fucking Moses of drunk and underage kids and he lead them to safety away from the cops. He's a hero that we deserve.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Randomize
