Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
mom just texted me "hawaii ambien". those are like the two things she talks about to keep me interested in spending time with her.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
Randomize
