Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
i mean really, i cant compete with a cucumber
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
As long as you're not dating white guys again.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
That's because "bed time" is my sex playlist. If you're trying to fall asleep use "nap time"
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm not going to be your wingman while you are in the hospital.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Randomize
