called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
mom and dad are asleep. time to fish my half-full bottle of wine out from under my bed and give this christmas visit a pick-me-up.
"half-full" seems a little optimistic for the turn your night is taking.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
It would have to be recorded, because that sex tape would be humanity's primary evidence of miracles
We should get Al Michaels to provide commentary for it.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
FUCK and YOU. times 10. To infinity and beyond. You bastard. Worst. Cockblock. Ever. I'm going to nail your sister.
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Randomize
