I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
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