I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
Randomize
