in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
