Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
Reason #3 women are better than men: texting and peeing simultaneously. Write THAT in the fucking snow.
It's like there testing me. My dad kept handing me margaritas and saying "you can take it"
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Buying weed with grant money. God I love college. No other time are we presented with these opportunities.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
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