so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Nothing says Panama City like condoms washing up on the shore.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
What are you doing tomorrow?
Dude its my bday. Im drinking from sunup til face down. Rinse and repeat.
Randomize
