My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
