she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
Randomize
