I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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