Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Fuck appropriateness.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Randomize
