Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
I woke up in a trash can. Please dude. I don't know what I did to you last night, but I'm sorry. Epically sorry. Please call me back. Please.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
My boob is missing a layer of skin
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
Randomize
