I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
he turned down sex AND sandwiches. who the hell does that?!
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
TURNS OUT they were both cheating. Like the Gift of the Magi except for shitty people
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Randomize
