there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
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