The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
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