He made a note in his iPhone tonight so that he would remember that I rejected him.
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I saw this news story about two naked Satanists being arrested so I thought I should ask if you need bail money or pants
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
Randomize
