just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I am burnt. Have a black eye. Face dove into the grass and got pissed on. Time of my life. God Bless the USA.
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
She just pored wine down the turkeys hole and said that she christened it like the whore that it is...happy thanksgiving.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
I just realized I haven't looked at our horoscopes lately. If mine says anything about tweakers, I'm burning my phone.
Oh shit oh shit oh shit.
BURN THE PHONE.
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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