dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
she's about as cool as a sandpaper handjob.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
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