I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
Randomize
