I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
The Australian strangers convinced me to leave him behind when they started chanting Aussie Aussie Aussie, Oy Oy Oy, and told me they had a bunch of beer at their place.
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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