it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Slut skills are useful in every country.
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
i just told him to get ready, because I'm going to be taking out my anger over the Super Bowl out on his penis.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
Randomize
