She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Spent fifteen minutes in the car thinking i was psychic before i realized the cd was not on shuffle
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
Randomize
