actually, I'm a sock model
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
She invited us over for cocaine and donuts
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
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