you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
