Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
He threw up on my head while I was blowing him, and then I started barfing, and the kitchen floor was a mess. Believe me, he will never, ever live this down.
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Randomize
