It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
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