what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
