There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize
