tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
What's your middle initial? I need it for the census. I put us down as "unmarried partners."
Oh my god... you're gay. Ps, its A.
No no. According to the 2010 US Census, we're gay.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
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