No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
I had sex on the roof of the dorm last night ... I feel like a combination of spiderman and van wilder
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
