Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
Randomize
