I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
the people going to church this morning while i was walking home did not seem as pleased as i was with how many beads i earned last night
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
Randomize
