Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
u got into a flexing contest with a dude in bathroom in the mirror at the club
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
