would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
Dude, I just cut my asshole on the new toilet paper. If you rationed the grocery money to buy drugs, I better be getting some.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
he said i looked like a lion with slutty lingerie on .
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
whose ass print is on the piano?
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
