dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
