Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Drunken horseback riding is the absolute worst decision i've ever made in my life.
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
His penis without viagra is what breaks my heart.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
I was super naked---except I kept my shoes on, because I'm a lady, and I was bent over a bar.
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
