Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
If you think me talking about that hot guy accepting my LinkedIn request is pornographic, I’m not sure how you’re gonna feel when I tell you I fucked a stranger on a park bench last weekend
Randomize
